Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
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Top comments
mylifesucks_alot 0
I sympathize. I'm a girl. I'm straight. However, I have the football-catching abilities of a sack of flour. Throwing is something I am even worse at. I feel bad for you because her scary father is probably going to get a whole lot scarier after this instance :(
Soak 0
You must have scored some brownie points with that =)
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Comments (106)
SneakyMuffin 0
Not everyone can play sports. I'm a baseball and football jock and I can't kick a soccer ball for shit.
klx125cross 9
Try watching cam newton.
TheCerealKiller 24
I'm sure it's not the first time a ball (or balls) has hit your girlfriend's mother in the face.
Mattlozano12 15
I feel you man.
callalilley 18
At least you will have a story to tell at your next party! Ouch, sorry OP.
metroido 21
was it windy as ****?