Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML
Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. Five minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML
Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
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Top comments
airandfingers 0
Today, I was withdrawing money from an ATM at my new school, when a guy came up behind me and demanded my money. I gave it to him, thinking he had a weapon. Later, I saw that not only had he posted on fmylife.com, but he said f HIS life! FML
nlite 0
you dumbass.
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Comments (238)
danielleFML 0
wow, asshole.
sLap_fml 0
lol i hope you gave it back to him!
906dboy 0
thats awesome, but deffinetely not worthy of FML. efff HIS life for bein a ****** pussy. fyi, i wouldve never given you my money, i would've turned around with the meanest left hook you'd ever ****** feel. BTW, i agree with # 127, then maybe invite the little pussy frosh and smoke him uuup
Oriina 0
**** YOUR life? I hope you at least gave back his money. And for the people saying the freshman should've beaten up the OP, what if the OP/actually/ had a gun point-blank on that freshmen's back or something? Punching the assailant in the eye or trying to attack and more than likely you might get shot, stabbed, or worse. Didn't you know you're just supposed to give thieves whatever they want when you're jumped/mugged like that? That's what I was taught ... but eh. Just my thoughts.
hcoxo134 0
well it's not really your fault, but that is kinda sad :( poor freshman lol. did u at least tell him you were sorry and gave back the money?
DontPanic6x9 0
I fail to see the problem here.
aelder11 0
not FYL. more like FHL
walkemskies 0
how is this a FML
nat66623 0
FHL :(
evolveahimsa 0
ATMS have built-in cameras or cameras nearby. your joke was not funny. you= going to jail= FAIL