Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ChocolateScyther 19
the fool! you never cross streams! he could've destroyed the entire office!
OptimusSlime 23
That's disgusting what the hell was he thinking
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (48)
TyrantOverSeer 13
I have come to realize there are two types of commenters, one is the "That's terrible, your father has been doing this for years, you should consider filing charges.", and the others is "Holly Shit, that's hilarious Bro."
baken101 12
Wow that's actually brilliant bathroom lingo.
myfmlsecrets 6
People are so ******* weird sometimes lmao that sucks
rebekahw_ 8
I don't think I have ever laughed so hard at an FML than I have with this one
samwilliams800 28
Punch him in the face and pee on his head.
HeroHog 10
An elbow to the face will prevent any future occurrences of that behavior. It needs to be applied instantly as the act occurs so you have the "sorry, I just reacted" PTSD excuse.
HeroHog 10
In a trough type urinal, meh, no foul.
thatsjustgreat1 16
This is both the funniest and most unfortunate thing I read today.
Danishduckling 20
you could've taken off your shoes and rinsed them in the sink?
manuwish 9
change doctors!