Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Today, while waiting at the bus stop, the guy standing near me started peeing on the sidewalk and on my shoes. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
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Top comments
ChocolateScyther 19
the fool! you never cross streams! he could've destroyed the entire office!
OptimusSlime 23
That's disgusting what the hell was he thinking
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Comments (48)
Redmond64 16
Oh god
InfiniteSunshine 32
Were you not allowed to leave, at the very least to go home and change? If that's the case it seems like your workplace is awful, and could even take this situation higher up. Walking around with urine on your clothes is not only unsanitary for you, but everyone else there as well.
Tomryan279 10
Did you tell a supervisor what happen he/she should have let you go home and change. It disgusting and didn't you just smell of piss the rest of the day
McLake 6
Me being me, I would've crossed the streams with him.. It would be a fun memory!
samlovesham1234 9
He clearly takes that line very seriously.
StarkWolf_fml 23
it's a fact positrons don't react like that.
uzumakinurto 13
umm sorry no if someone pisses on my feet I'm going off to change my socks and shoes then coming back..if they tell me I will get fired for leaving well bye bye I'm not a one trick pony I'll work somewhere else. you can't pay me enough to literally stand in someone else's piss.
Sweet_Melody 15
That's disgusting, I wonder if he thought that through before doing it.
tbro47 23
This is the reason I avoid urinals. If there is a stall, even if it's in use I will wait for it to be open. Too many weirdos that think they need to break the ice while using a urinal next to someone
fde2blknimout 18
Its dont cross the streams. Fake as nerd