Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic so to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her. Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to confess my bulimia to my girlfriend of three months. It's a touchy subject for me and I ended up in tears. When I was done talking, I looked up to see my girlfriend's disgusted face. She claimed I had a 'vomit fetish', said I was 'half a man' and broke up with me. FML
Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML
Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML
Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML
Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
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Top comments
Ngood7 0
Why didn't you just say you had a stomach virus?
Eir_fml 1
I like the name you posted with.
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Comments (34)
kim0806 0
Your roommate is a jerk. You should not have to "prove" anything to anyone like this. You should have just said that you didn't feel well.
whatever2468 0
FYL, some people are so quick to jump to conclusions. PS #4 - Yes there is such thing as a stomach virus, it's called Gastroenteritis, and some of it's causes are Rotavirus, Adenovirus, and Astrovirus. Notice the word virus. Food poisoning isn't the only thing that makes people throw up.
cocacola09 0
why dont you just say i have a stomach virus, ill eat tomorrow..?
SkaterChic 0
FAIL
elliekinslurvsya 0
she thinks you're anorexic cuz you don't eat for one day? why didn't you tell her you were sick?
oopsie_daisy8446 0
LMFAO nice one. ftw. You winnnnnn
ericck 0
lol, in class they gaved us hot line numbers for stuff like that I would gave u the numbers but I lost the card
dandan7714 0
woooww no threadjacking ftw
Sergeantmqqre 1
Oh so your a doctor and can diagnose conditions via FML?? teach me your ways??
Miserybiz 0
Aww mate that's annoying :/ but to be honest you shouldn't just said you had a virus.