Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "Condoms are too expensive." FML
Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML
Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
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Top comments
Skittlesbaby 7
poke holes in them
xxaybaybayxx 0
what a douchebag.
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Comments (164)
HomeAl0ne 20
Carefully slit the packets open and dust the inside of the condoms with a mix of itching powder and chilli , then reseal with glue. Sit back and enjoy.
Slipknot666Maggo 0
lmao, that's brilliant.
IHeartJimi02 0
16, this is the most brilliant comment I have seen. You are awesome.
lucky_719 0
... you have to be the most devious person I have seen on here. kudos!
BrokenDreamer24 15
Simply brilliant.
xrainbowshadowx 17
#16 you're a genius.
lilnayray199 0
hahaha your home alone pic matches yer comment perfectly! !
dantheman1988 0
nice
gangsta99 0
perfect u r soo smart *** to the ya u rok
KaintukeeBob 13
So, OP, I take it this is now your ex-boyfriend? Live and learn, move on. DON'T go back to him.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Purchase some specially trained crabs to stay on the condoms for a little while, or rub them on some herpes infested guy's ****. Do not allow him the oppurtunity to believe he had indirect sex with a woman, WOMEN ARE A NO NO, OP.
drifterz 0
tell him the condoms are recalled for defects. Then watch him panic.
MrGold 0
That is actually a very creative comment. I LOL'd hahaha
a_traveler 5
I agree with #1 & #2. You should totally poke holes in the condoms with a sewing needle, then give them back to him; then drop him like a bad habit.
Cinn_fml 23
Why, why, why would you do that? It's such a stupid idea. It's not funny, it's not clever and it affects more than just the jerk.
MrGold 0
Who cares. You are a Douche for having no sense of humor. The guy could learn a lesson for cheating by getting what he doesn't want.
Cinn_fml 23
The guy is a prick, yes, and definitely needs to be taught a lesson. But by messing with the contraception he's using? That's just as bad. Also, I resent being told that not only am I a douche but have no sense of humour because I don't find the idea of poking holes in condoms funny.
hawty12345 0
Dang 44.. Calm down and take a joke? No one honestly cares, and its a JOKE. Its meant to be funny. If you're too serious to even take the joke then just dont say anything at all..it just kills it.
BellaGoBoom 6
Whether or not you think it's funny doesn't mean anyone else will care why you think it's not funny. Obviously, that joke's not for everybody. So put on your big girl panties and suck it up. And no, it wasn't funny. Good call.
tmmundy 17
boo hoo. grow up. this is FML so. if the shoe fits....well, FUL. lmao.
IHeartJimi02 0
This comment is funny if you are joking but I feel like people would actually do this and that is not funny.
Cinn_fml 23
The reason I explained why I didn't think the poking-holes-scenario was funny was when I was being called a douche for not thinking that it was funny. Just to clarify.
gothicwriter 0
i agree with #25
jSOPURE 3
Well... damn. :( Drop that sucka.
aardvarkish 17
What would Dr Ruth do?
lovecraft93 0
Grab zee penis, with love. :D *in a Dr Ruth voice*
perdix 31
Put a few drops of Super Glue in one of them. Just think of it as an investment in your health. You're paying so he doesn't bring those other skanks' diseases to you. Then again, if such a pig is your boyfriend, maybe you are kind of a *****, too.
asiamph 1
i knw its easier said than done..but save yourself from dealing w his lieng AZZ