Today, even though I told him not to, my husband tried the old “pull a shotgun on your daughter’s date” thing. It turns out the kid’s mom is a lawyer and his uncle is a cop. Now my husband is under investigation for a hate crime, because the kid is a different race than us. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a family reunion, my daughter accused me of being a racist because I won't let her date a black guy. I do not have a racist bone in my body, but this dude is an actual gang member, and he has killed people before. Nobody believes me. FML
Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I was beaten up by a random dude for trying to pick my own son up from school. I'm pasty white, my wife is black, and our son was visibly born black, so I was beaten up for attempted kidnapping, and it’s not the first time it’s happened. FML
Today, I missed my daughter’s engagement because her cousin has a crush on her and was planning to ruin it. So while my daughter was agreeing to get married, my sister and I were in the car park with the jealous little shit in a headlock, whilst screaming that he loved her and that it’s not fair. He’s 27. FML
Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML
Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, my husband more or less said to our daughter, "I just met an old friend, he has a son you should marry because my old friend is really rich.” It’s been an hour and he’s cowering in his chair because our daughter is still yelling at him, and it serves him right, but now I have a headache from the noise. FML
Today, I went on my first date in a year or so. It was going great, but after we left the restaurant, we went back to her place, where I was quickly chased out of the house by her two daughters, and her grandfather with a shotgun. FML
Today, my son-in-law slapped my daughter, so I put him in an armhold and threw him outside. My daughter refused to press charges so he got away, but then he pressed charges against me for hitting his head against the wall when I threw him, so I got arrested instead. Justice is a shitting joke. FML
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Top comments
FluffythePink 23
Play stupid games...
historygrad74 19
He deserves it. Who does that?!
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Comments (7)
FluffythePink 23
Play stupid games...
Thaylok 17
I'm surprised he's even allowed a shotgun in Cali. Sounds like he chose the wrong state to live in with that FAFO. Sorry you had to suffer with his idiocy.
historygrad74 19
He deserves it. Who does that?!
Hangryko 32
I'm sorry you went through that BS. Glad you're divorcing that toxic manchild.
JuneBleeds4 20
Yeah, your husband and, by extension, you deserve whatever he gets from this. That's a really stupid "prank" to pull in this day and age. FAFO the hard way...
whackman56789 7
Why does the OP deserve this? She told him not to do it and he went and did it anyway. OP’s husband definitely deserves what he’s been charged with for sure but OP told him it was a terrible thing and not to do it and he ignored her and did it anyway.
JuneBleeds4 20
"I told him not to" is a lame duck defense.
bazjack 26
How was she supposed to stop him, pull a shotgun on him?
Iamthebanzai22 21
It's only funny when you are not on the business end of the shotgun. Anybody would be traumatized by having that happen to them and I hope your husband realizes that the joke is now on him. You don't do that shit to people.
alex_jaguara 33
Ethnicity* Races don't exist anymore.