Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my new girlfriend's father made good on his "What you do to her I do to you" threat when he took me out for drinks and then drunkenly hit on me. FML
Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, I brought my new girlfriend home. My overprotective sister got into her face and started the whole, "if you hurt him, I’ll kick your ass" speech. My girlfriend responded by whooping my sister’s ass up and down our driveway. It took both me and my mom to pull her off. FML
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
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Top comments
hamburgerjung 23
How about restraining your drunk dad instead?...
RichardPencil 32
You're ok with your dad poking your girlfriend? Spineless cuckold!
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Comments (17)
distortedcognition 17
You dad sounds like a funny drunk asshole
Miss_Red 18
your father shouldnt be touching anyone without their consent.
BrotherPhil 35
Personally, I'd have recommended standing by to restrain him if he tried to hit her back.
SJKatt 15
You mean you stopped your girlfriend from defending herself after you failed to stop your father from continuing to assault her? Got it.
Hangryko 32
Who's that one person who keeps downvoting the comments defending the girlfriend? Get a life.