Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
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Top comments
dontfmlplzzz 6
Everyone needs a soundtrack to puking
25shark 5
Jingle all the way!
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Comments (245)
MsConfusedd 27
Puking in the bowl you really shouldnt drink this much over lid theyll go and splash water in your face hahaha god these chunks are huge how much did you eat? maybe next time you wont wash it down with vodka and rum! oh! puke puke puke puke puke puke puke puke all the way!
ninjadinos 14
No. Please.
vol4life 6
I give you thumbs up for effort.
kesleyismyname 0
Hahaha that's pretty funny, that shows how much he loves you
Epiqness 0
Mmmm sounds kinky. He's a keeper.
akinsel2 6
Next time he's sick, start sucking his dick and be like "now you know how it feels!!" Seriously though a) it's your boyfriend and not some random guy, and I'm sure this is not his first feel, and b) he was nice enough to hold your hair back, let him have a feel for his trouble. When my girl does this I get sex the next morning when she feels better or at the very least a bj for my troubles...
twinning 0
Haha I think he's da one for you lmfao
YouraHater 0
He sounds funny lol
williamcarter93 13
What is with these people and drinking too goddamn much. I guess the words 'in moderation' never entered their goddamn vocabulary.
sqeakyclean 7
Yeah, Goddamn it!
Mommyof2_91 10
Well it is possible to drink in moderation and still vomit... It can happen to people who arent big drinkers... I used to drink and then I got pregnant, so about 2 years after not drinking I had ONE drink and it made me vomit... Embarrassing but true. Another possibility is drinking on an empty stomach..
weesnaw_08 7
I'm guessing GD entered your vocabulary early in life.
williamcarter93 13
nah. When I was about 13 my parents started cussing more than usual. And they said goddamn. On a side note, why did you just not write the whole word instead of just gd.
wiseguy69 0
Hey he was with u while u vomited so he deserves something nice!
jagsville 8
16, what's wrong with you? He was probably trying to be funny (while getting something in return). No need for all that.
MilkmanPsycho 7
Q