Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house with a few people. I drank too much wine and later when everyone else had left I gave him head, deepthroating a little too enthusiastically, and puked all over his cock and bedsheets. Turns out, washing vomit out of your pubes kills the mood somewhat. FML
Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, I was going down on my boyfriend. I'm usually in control and do my own thing. He tried taking control and I ended throwing up on him. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
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Top comments
dontfmlplzzz 6
Everyone needs a soundtrack to puking
25shark 5
Jingle all the way!
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Comments (245)
I7zXzavieR 3
Kill yourself you dumb ******
Rasetsu 10
Was he drunk too?
21bebe 0
89- Just shut up, we all know your only saying your kidding because your comment got negitive votes. ******* nun.
Teeheeyoufail 0
Awww what a sweetheart ;) And btw you did it OP. ;)
Kuroneko91 3
Boys... They tend to do those things in the most inappropriate moments xDD
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for drinking that much. I will never understand the appeal of becoming so intoxicated that you're blowing chunks and can't remember your own name.
dudeboyredblue 6
What a liar this never happened
Ethan1999 0
Hahaaa thats hilarious, what a beast. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
Alyxi 20
ok it sucks that your bf is such an asshole but at the same time you shouldn't have been drinking so much you spewed -_- so it's a tie for my vote on this one.
hungergamesfreak 7
that sucks but it is a guy ur talking about