Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, after being in the hospital for two days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
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Top comments
xyzstephzyx 0
best friend...? Yeah, right. punch her in the mouth, that *****. happy birthday!
Aetius_fml 0
At least you have a cool dentist
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Comments (465)
liljon3 0
ouch..ya keep the ring
alsoelp 0
the spirit of FML has finally returned. unfortunately for you that means you had a situation in which you were genuinely screwed.
defiantawakening 0
don't even think about giving it back.
dreamsmean 3
i agree with # 72, that would be hilarious and, that really sucks. but at least you found out before being married legally and going through all that work and money spent just to get a divorce and MORE paper work.. happy birthday anyway.. hope it gets better
Niqi 0
Sell the ring and keep the money for yourself.
chy_fml 22
that really sucks and i am sorry it happen on your birthday. if i were you i would first of all go and slap that bitch you call (ex)bestfriend, then go have yourself a one night stand, after that go and sell the ring and treat yourself to a vacation i bet you will feel better afterwards. P.s. post your dentists number here i would like a dentist that is cool. And oh HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GatoradeBoy 0
honestly, this sounds really far fetched :S
scottyz1 0
You're day couldn't get much worse... FYL
SophiaMay 0
I'm so sorry this happened on your birthday! She isn't your best friend, and he really should be ex fiancé, i hope you realise you are worth WAY more than either of those two.
LordofNorm 0
Atleast your friend has told you eventually, and I wish my dentist wished me happy birthday =(