Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, after being in the hospital for two days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I called my sister to wish her a happy birthday. I sang the Birthday song off-key but in a spirited way, before she interrupted to say, “My birthday was yesterday.” She then added, “By the way, your ex remembered, and I think we're besties now.” FML
Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML
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Top comments
xyzstephzyx 0
best friend...? Yeah, right. punch her in the mouth, that *****. happy birthday!
Aetius_fml 0
At least you have a cool dentist
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Comments (465)
gir321 0
does anyone else find this incredibly fake? and if it isn't I give you a YDI for being with a guy that would do that to you on your birthday and cheat on you and having a backstabbing best friend.
pinkdinosaur64 0
sell the ring, and that girl is not your best friend and your fiancee is an asshole
erikawesome 0
It could have been worse...the dentist office could have called to tell you that you needed a root canal...
Panicattackx5 0
Ouch...
Lurch420 0
It's my birthday too, Happy birthday! and you ex fiancee is an asshole.
MyMacWillEatYou 0
I hope you know you don't have to give the ring back if he's the one that caused the breakup. Sell it and buy yourself something nice!
buffsgirl21 0
Happy birthday! I hope things get better for you! Pawn the ring. Treat yourself to something. Lose the "friend." And be happy you didn't actually go through with marrying the bastard.
alice77_fml 0
god, that *sucks*. happy birthday though! :-)
plexico 4
You avoided marriage to an asshole! You will look back on this as the best day of your life! Now, go **** a bunch of guys (use a condom EVERY time) and pick a good one to keep eventually. Find an ugly girl to be your best friend and you won't have to worry about her stealing your man. Now go out and get laid on your birthday! Thank the dentist's office tomorrow.
that_guy321 2
hey at least you got 1/3 that's a .333 in baseball, which is pretty decent happy birthday, btw