Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kicker? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my two year-old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two-hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML
Today, I drove 15 hours to drop my son off at my parents' for their vacation, just for them to tell me that they changed their minds and they're taking my sister's kids instead. FML
Today, I spent five hours in the back seat of a car with two dogs. Both had been sprayed by a skunk earlier in the day. One had a gas problem. FML
Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML
Today, at the crack of dawn, I started a 700-mile road trip with my three children. So far, I've stopped four times, settled several arguments, cleaned up spilled yogurt and melted silly putty. 130 miles down, 570 to go. FML
Today, I'm going on an 8-hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML
Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
Today, I flew 1800 km with my two small children to a remote northern village for work. Our bags were lost, leaving us without winter gear and only one change of clothes. Just to make things extra fun, we now all have uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea. FML
Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML
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Top comments
Pleasure_Pirate 0
Take a plane next time.
katTKD 0
17- "One who vomits upon seeing, hearing, and/or, smelling someone else vomit despite any physical ailment" gotta love urban dictionary :)
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Comments (50)
allilovee 0
hahah #32 agreed fyl something like Tht happend to me before better not share :/
Lisa89 3
Sucks; kids and dogs suck.* [*as in, they generally suck at taking on long jorneys due to their short attention span and their need to poop and throw up]
DAN7IEL 2
idk this fml confuses me too much
drpepperrules 0
Why is this so confusing? Read number 11 or 29! It's really not that hard to understand :)
xMaNNiNGx119 0
YDI for not taking a plane
Elizabeth123654 0
I read this FML thru 6 times, and i still don't understand. it all looks like a bunch of mushed up words together. Sorry OP.
mleighxOx 1
I understand it 100% I just do t get why she said the kickers? but anyways OP FYI
your_mother 0
Once you get carsick you don't get carsick again unless you eat. I highly doubt the baby ate 5 times. I know this because I've been puking my guts out in cars for 15 years.
The_Disturbed 5
Actually, you can. My cousin threw up 4 times in a car when she was younger. I can safely say she didn't eat anything between those times. No food in the car, and there's no food on the side of a motorway.
roflinyourwaffle 0
the dogs are there for a reason. regurgitation cleaning abilities--they has them.
link238 0
shitty deal. but ya, get a better source then urban dictionary guys
JokeMeister 0
U R retarded for getting IN the car!!!