Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
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Top comments
drayloon 50
Judging by your name OP, I assume this is a family tradition?
tacopandaroo 12
This is why it's important to start talking to your children early.
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Comments (87)
spacepants 11
YDI. way to parent. her first boyfriend and she's being having sex for 3 years??? how old is this girl? ?? I'm seriously hoping she's like 19 right now.
hollandchris0822 10
i wonder if it was walmart parking lot?
tamesenicole 27
How old is your daughter because she needs to have a damn seat and do her homework or something
shutupyou 11
dont know whats scarier, that she had sex in public at such a young age, or that she's not ashamed. Not even with her mum.
englacobain 14
Why assume she's straight tho. Maybe she wants to **** girls.
BaDumTsss_fml 23
How olds the daughter..?
celinadepp 21
Oh God. YDI because of that ******* pretentious title.
rocketgurl 15
Two classy Colorado gals. Long live parking lot quickies.
WhoCouldIBe 11
And how old is she. If she's out of high school or even in high school three years ago it shouldn't matter much
AkaPanda 12
Kids have always been loosing it Early just more common now. My cousin is in her 30s and lost or at like 13