Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
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Top comments
drayloon 50
Judging by your name OP, I assume this is a family tradition?
tacopandaroo 12
This is why it's important to start talking to your children early.
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Comments (87)
kathrynjayney 10
If I was her mum, I would be so heartbroken at this.
Shade1982 21
Why are people still glorifying sex? It's just sex people...
mlelene13 7
Oh don't act so shocked and play the innocent mom. Why are you just now telling her about "spending the night" and talking down to her like she's 10. Your ignorance astounds me.
Tripitaka 21
YDI. That talk came a little late, don't you think?
Pikachurr13 11
'Murica
Taurus_ChicKa 37
How old is your daughter? Dear Lord I hope she's at least 17...but if you're just now giving her the sex talk, I doubt it. I hope to God she's at least using protection if she's having sex.
HaleyMae321 5
YDI because you would let your daughter spend the night with a boy
iKristien 5
Yeah, 'cause sex only happens at night.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
I'd say FHL…but it seems a lot of guys have been doing that already.
nic112 10
Oh hell no!!!!!!
victoriat112214 10
This has to be fake. No parent is that awful.