Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year-old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
drayloon 50
Judging by your name OP, I assume this is a family tradition?
tacopandaroo 12
This is why it's important to start talking to your children early.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
hedgedcats 19
YDI. Like mother like daughter? Setting a good example there OP.
MrZsDad 19
At least she didn't use a cutesy voice and tell that to Grandma.
Koolaidandtacos 21
A lot happens in parking lot's. Giggle giggle
ally8 21
Damn she's classy!
abdiG 27
apple does not fall far from the tree op.
Mermaidhead 13
i hope it was at least a classy target or jcpennys parking lot. i lost mine in a walmart parking lot. In a shopping cart.
awesomeman84 6
whoa seriously? that's an achievement right there. wish I could have sex in a shopping cart
Booksawhi 22
"Like mother like daughter" ....
mc133412 10
I read the authors name too
Anikaaaaa 31
Honestly, if you yourself lost it in the parking lot at a young age, why the hell would you wait with talking about it with your daughter? I'm sorry OP, but YDI.
llsandstormll 6
Can I please ask how old she is?
jeepers_1 21
Not really relevant tbh. What exactly is going to change about the situation?
fordneagles 34
Well if she's, say, 18 now, then OP waited way too damn long to have this talk, but at least the daughter was 15 when she lost her virginity. If the daughter is maybe 14/15 now, then OP still waited too damn long, and if she lost her virginity three years ago... Well that's creepy and messed up.
tdawg91 17
The age of the daughter changes the whole thing! If she's 13 then that means she was having sex at 10 which changes an FML to a sex crime. If she's 19 then this changes the FML to "you're an idiot" for A: assuming a legal adult is still a virgin and B: waiting faaaar too late for the talk
jeepers_1 21
If they are discussing "spending the night" then I assume the girl is a bit older. I don't know too many parents that let their kids spend the night at a bf/gf house if they are like 13.
Atowns40 18
Many parents are not good ones and dont know how to raise there children. Many kids these days are having sex b4 or at the beginning of highschool as well. Its unfortunate but its whats happening in America these days
tdawg91 17
No, but they do let them have sleep overs at their friends house.... That doesn't mean they always stay at their friends house
TheAnon1313 28
You can ask, but I can sure as hell guarantee you won't get an answer.
TallMist 32
""you're an idiot" for A: assuming a legal adult is still a virgin " Um, what? Just because you turn 18 doesn't mean you're no longer a virgin. Not everyone is sex crazed.
ElyseMoon420 9
She must of learned it from you, and you even know that... look at your name! hah.