Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I'm severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML
Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9-hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML
Today, I worked construction building a hotel. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to poop. I ran into one of the rooms and found an empty cardboard box to poop into. Finished, I closed the box and made my way to the door. I then saw my boss staring at me from the closet. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML
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Top comments
PleaseStayChill 9
Go off of the building. I'm sure everyone on the ground would enjoy that.
Schizomaniac 24
How is it convenient if y- Oh. Well damn. Guess you have two cases of the runs then.
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Comments (56)
xInwex 12
Oh god, I know how you feel op. I have Crohn's disease so when I need a bathroom, I need it NOW. I'd go home sick til you're better
PhannyPack09 8
Explain your photo :)
ManInTheMachine 20
This is where a parachute and some base-jumping gear would come in handy. Pull a Mission Impossible and jump! Or wear a diaper. I guess it Depends. ;)
Ren_Uchiha 11
Depends is actually offering free samples, OP. they won't get there for 1-2 weeks but at least you'll have them for next time.
sylar88_fml 1
Depends are a terrible brand of adult diapers, the European brands like Abena and Molicare makes depend look like a Kleenex in comparison, though for American brands go with tranquility, attends or even Dry 24/7 which can hold up to 96 ounces.
hunteer9 5
Take one off the side!!!
Pleonasm 36
"Hey Joe, the paint job's not due yet, and we agreed it would be royal blue. What is this shit?" "I'm sick of this shitty job! It's not what it's cracked up to me!
Pleonasm 36
*be. not me.
billypatterson 2
Brutal.
unknown_user5566 27
Could you not have called out from work, or once you found out you had the runs, asked to go home? You're not going to be an effective employee for the day if you spend 1/2 your time running to the bathroom.
Pleonasm 36
SO what you're trying to say is, when the shit hits the fan, it's time to call it a day.
unknown_user5566 27
Absolutely. The whole day turns into a waste. It's better to relieve yourself of the shitty feeling, and flush away the stress.
Pleonasm 36
Pun runs are always fun with you, kyleekay!
bach2121 13
Damn you should explain that to ur pals and go home. Ur useless anyways if ur always running to the bathroom
cornyrob 33
Jump down; you'll get to the toilet in no time!
perdix 31
Bring a bucket. Then, you can cross "******** in a bucket" off your Bucket List. I'll bet you got the runs from crossing another item off that list -- "eating a whole bucket of chicken." Y'know, every item on a Bucket List doesn't have to literally involve a bucket.
jetsown08 21
He could also shit in a bucket of chicken, or eat a bucket of shit. The possibilities are endless!
carminecris89 13
Sounds like you should probably call in a sick day.