Today, I'm at work on a construction site for a high rise building, on the 12th floor today. I've developed a severe case of the runs, causing me to need to rush to the nearest toilet periodically. Luckily for me it's conveniently located on the ground floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I have a huge meeting with the big executives of the company I work at. I have to be there in 10 minutes. I'm stuck on the toilet with the runs because I thought it would be a good idea to eat hot chicken wings last night. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I'm severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML
Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9-hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML
Today, I worked construction building a hotel. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to poop. I ran into one of the rooms and found an empty cardboard box to poop into. Finished, I closed the box and made my way to the door. I then saw my boss staring at me from the closet. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PleaseStayChill 9
Go off of the building. I'm sure everyone on the ground would enjoy that.
Schizomaniac 24
How is it convenient if y- Oh. Well damn. Guess you have two cases of the runs then.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
PleaseStayChill 9
Go off of the building. I'm sure everyone on the ground would enjoy that.
slappomatt 4
Complain to the GC. OSHA rules say they have to have a bathroom every other floor. If they don't do it call OSHA instead of posting on fml...
onlychildFTW 34
OP, diapers! They really are good when you have the runs.
unknown_user5566 27
15- Are the rules the same for a construction site, though? I'd imagine it would be difficult to hoist port-a-potty's on every floor, if the bathrooms weren't finished yet.
RedPillSucks 33
Probably depends on how finished the building is. Once the walls are in, it's probably hard to get the porta-potty in and out of the building.
lilhellian 27
23 I imagined a porta john on an i-beam with this.
Schizomaniac 24
How is it convenient if y- Oh. Well damn. Guess you have two cases of the runs then.
winnerme123 8
Oh shit, gotta run!
krewer21 1
Touché!
curiousflame 3
He is being sarcastic :)
rayofsunshine12 6
93, no shit :)
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Shit off the edge of the building. People'll think it's a really fat bird.
Pleonasm 36
That way he can have his cack, and eat it, too.
unknown_user5566 27
18- When I read "cack", I sincerely thought you said something else, and was EXTREMELY confused for a moment. o.O
KiddNYC1O 22
3- That's what hard hats are for, right? Lol
Pleonasm 36
25- Well who knows which way his wrench bends. All I have to say is that I'm glad they're keeping safe and wearing protection.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
No, #29, hard hats are for when the birds try to take over and rain down from the sky we'd have protection. You think angry birds (the game) was for fun? We are brain washing our children to be prepared. *_*
winnerme123 8
36- And is that a bad thing?
SortOfSexy 4
Make it rain.
AKGirlinSD 20
Or take tums or vitamins. Those two alone will hold all tummy aches back.
twinkiefeets 17
Yikes!
gree_fml 11
Jinkies!
Dixbfloppin 11
Zoinks!
PinkieKeen 20
BATMAN
gczizza1997 15
Just save them half the trouble of building a toilet on that floor by making a hole in the floor. Do your business and I'm sure they'll get the message soon
jetsown08 21
Or, OP could make a massive shaft down from the 12th floor into the 1st floor toilet. He just needs to make sure he doesn't fall in!
yessy729 0
I'd go home. If I don't make it home, **** it I'd shit in my car
connerwonner 7
Construction work is not like a regular job. You can't take suck days or else they will get someone else to do your job.
Ameel_fml 19
Does that sort of rule apply if you're that sick though? The runs are usually associated with contageous illnesses and flus, so I think (or rather, hope) the boss would want the OP to go home in case he/she infects the other workers.
I3eefChowFun 7
You must be having a shitty day.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Oh here we go with all the crappy puns again...
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
People are really (sky)-scraping the bottle of the barrel for these puns aren't they :/? They're just building themselves up for embarrassment, and height now I think they're just awful :L
TourettesGuyFTW 26
^marvelous, *wipes tear from eye*
Pleonasm 36
So, you have the runs.
OhAidan 7
That's the word on the block!
alexhaz64 4
That seems like very inconvenient building design. I hope that the floor you're working on will have a bathroom, at least!
TardxxxCake 4
You're a ******* idiot. Construction sites only have those nasty portapotties on the ground floor.
unknown_user5566 27
40- It's one thing to think a comment is unintelligent, but it's a whole other thing to be an ass about it. Was the "you're a ******* idiot" statement really necessary?
TardxxxCake 4
46 - Oh I'm sorry, are you all butthurt because I chose to be blunt? Get over it sweetheart.
jetsown08 21
46- Yes. The stupid should be smitten to hell.