Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML
Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was at a wedding and I reluctantly joined the dance floor. As soon as I started dancing, I felt my trousers rip. Trying to save face, I kept dancing, hoping no one would notice. A few minutes later, I realized my silk boxer shorts were completely visible to the entire party. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID, and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then went on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML
Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
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Top comments
Anonanimal 0
i bet it was a man you squeezed too
The_Great_Zucchi 15
YDI for carrying your wallet in your back pocket...
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Comments (59)
MyzticHydra 0
you got played like a fool
Dogman332 0
Some one pulled this on my mum once, but it wasnt this situation, it was more like my father did itD: So exited for 9 to come out, who else is.
deathmajestic 0
i am it looks pretty cool
playfuldesk 0
British people suck
eliz3 0
Well done for insulting a whole nation of people in one go... you're definitely supporting the "Americans are stupid" (assuming you're American, as most people on this are) argument. And no, I don't have bad teeth. (where did that even come from?!)
Dogman332 0
You know what, we dont suck at all. Your the one that sucks because you think your cool for thinking that saying british sucks is cool. And no, we DONT have bad teeth, that is a stereotype. Have you "patriots" heard of that world? ------------------------------------------------ Youtube.com/Dogman339
daymann 0
he's just messing with u guys learn how to take a joke and make fun of yourself
supermathnerd22 1
not all Americans are stupid:) For starters, I love Europe. Everything is so close and public transit really allows you to get around swiftly. Add low drinking ages and family and it's a great place. The clubs are also fantastic, especially in Germany. Unfortunately, the Muslims and Turkish and Morrocans can be quite disrespectful and rude. (especially when the Muslims danced on the streets after 9/11) Skiing in the Swiss an Austrian alps is definitely a one of a kind experience, and though British accents and traffic laws can get annoying, it's a cool place to visit. (yeah, I'm American) :)
blazingdaily 3
Okay dogman332 - I must correct you. It's spelt 'You're' in that context. But yes, back to the point at hand This guy is a fucktard and probably plays on 'call of duty' for most of the day and when he isn't his pathetic mind is contemplating ways on how to either... A. Sleep with his MUM using a different position. Or B. Go on a killing spree at his local school. See, anyone can be stereotypical. Fuckhead.
Wololo 0
that's why I always carry my wallet in my front pocket and it's a good idea to be careful of whose asses you squeeze.
fyourlife88 0
SHIT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PARTY NAKED
blazingdaily 3
Yes, because everyone keeps their wallet between their arse cheeks. Moron -.-
cdunning 0
You were stupid enough to have your wallet in your back pocket, YDI
I_am_stupid_also 6
Coz then you get a cheeky dick squeeze when they pinch your wallet.
hairytoenails 0
ydi for being a peacock
DelaineyFitz 3
What does ydi mean?
padlarf 14
YDI for putting your wallet in your back pocket
TimmyM 0
haha you dick, surrey has some of the lowest crime rates around, and you managed to get picked on. You must flash your cash like an idiot to get robbed in such a low crime rate area!
dralligator 1
Camberley's got chavs. Might've been there.
urbanlover 3
YDI. Shouldn't of brought your whole wallet in. If you must, a front pocket?