Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up at 4 a.m., my back sore from being twisted like a pretzel due to my toddler. I successfully moved him, then my sick baby woke up, tried to nurse, screamed because he couldn’t breathe through his nose, screamed because I suctioned his nose, tried to nurse a blanket, then screamed when I offered him an actual boob. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML
Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML
Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That screaming was actually your daughter after your baby latched on. I hear that hurts.
Ace132 20
You know the saying kids grow fast?
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Comments (71)
danial1214 21
This post was a nice way to start of my morning.
Zeishah 26
quite an observant kid youve got there.
PhDInLife 8
Adorable! And I agree, babies who learn to sleep in their own rooms/beds tend to grow into great sleepers. Your daughter imitating you is precious, just not so appreciated in the middle of the night :)
mohawkbear 5
I don't think this is exactly a FML, I think this is incredibly sweet and adorable. OP, just be thankful your daughter is such a thoughtful little person to try and care for her little brother in such a manner.
Jharrist89 12
Be careful. I got a warning message from FML for saying it wasn't an FML! So this is truly an FML!!
GuessWhatKids 13
Look on the bright side. This'll make for a great story one day.
gurly98 13
Op is a guy.... Wtf
sexyserendipity 1
She was only acting out of "female instincts"
Soniye 14
Now THAT Is A Story Worth Telling When They're Older... Ahhh Yes.. Memory Lane xD Lmao :-)
djxerxes9000 18
Was It Really Necessary To Capitalise Every Single ******* Word?
Glitter_taco_ 10
That's what I was about to ask
Fluffydemise 18
Cuteness overload. *implodes*
FlamingColor 30
At least she's attempting to babysit?
Sammeydw 22
How is this a FML? This cute, adorable, and priceless. But defiantly not a FML.
Raykyogrou03 12
*definitely