Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
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Top comments
prvag23 0
That's almost sweet that his mom made breakfast...in a really, really weird and completely awkward way.
drunkgirlscout2 0
Hey, you did get FREE PANCAKES. Unless the pancakes were green and filled with laxatives, I would be happy
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Comments (302)
kelseysue92 0
DUDE! sex AND pancakes?! best day EVER!
lifeftl 0
Dude, I LOVE pancakes
curious_missy 1
ooooooooo PANCAKES!!!
faygo19 0
And you wonder why he lives with his mom she will be your alarm clock and makes breakfast. Also she prolly made you a brown bag lunch how sweet
BlaqCat 0
Lots of guys still live at home ( especially with the current state of things here in the U.S.) plus you got sex AND pancakes out the deal. x_x now if you later find out your preggers....well that would be a FML
fmobus 0
This comment thread was good, until the moralists showed up.
Triceratops4Lif 7
Ahhh... Aren't destructive decisions great? But HEY! Who can complain about free Pancakes? I know I can't. Nice going!
moustacheman_fml 0
HEY F***ING STOP COMPLAINING you got to get drunk and have sex with no strings attached and you got free f***ing pancakes
patrickhb 0
#47 nailed it. Doesn't sound like your life is even remotely ****** to me. If she'd come in and slapped you, then sure, FYL. But free pancakes? Score.
Misanthropist 0
Not an FML, but still funny. He's probably not a keeper, but you got free sex and free breakfast.