Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
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Top comments
prvag23 0
That's almost sweet that his mom made breakfast...in a really, really weird and completely awkward way.
drunkgirlscout2 0
Hey, you did get FREE PANCAKES. Unless the pancakes were green and filled with laxatives, I would be happy
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Comments (302)
Freed0mfr1es 0
Ageed with #2 and #25
MyLifeSucks6969 0
I don't know how old this guy is, but if you posted that he lives with his mom, he's probably in college(or older) and you are a little appalled by this. I understand why you made this an FML, but the pancakes would be great. :)
v45h 0
I'm with #1, but if the pancakes are better than the sex just **** his mom next time
Guiseppi 0
Free pancakes? And the problem is...?
Mre_Man 0
Sex & Pancakes?... Mannn, your life is ******! NOT! =D
alex_vik 1
Ok, so you slept with a guy who you just met, and got pancakes. I guess you don't know how lucky you are.
argle 0
Dude....she made you pancakes. My own mother doesn't even do that, your life is not ******.
122vanessa122 5
AKWARD. lmfao.
henryk_fml 0
thats cool, you got pancakes in the morning. My own mom doesnt even make me breakfast you got some random dudes mom making you breakfast
bread_fml 0
I don't see what the problem is. You got laid and a free breakfast. Sounds like a win/win to me.