Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML
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Top comments
Psychotic_Snail 0
hahaha hes a keeper
dragsdotasniper 2
funny bf
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Comments (223)
Kokara1352 2
He's the one all right
bethnoire 10
F your life if you don't have a sense of humor, but he sounds like tons of fun. I'd keep him.
niswisk 3
That sounds kinda cute to me. Lol
Apcfan227 0
Okay sorry but that's just hilarious. :D
AndrewRoks1998 2
This makes me think of Heavy from TF2 saying "VZZZZZZZZZ DADADADADA OOOHHAHAHAHAHA!!"
vikkialex 0
Win
xd3box 4
Someone give this guy a ******* medal
IFF_President 6
This is the funniest FML i've ever read.
jkmatencio 6
I wish there was a like button. Lmao
anyav3 13
Control. Alt. and Delete his penis out of there lol Lighten up OP!! Learn how to take a joke.