Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to "spice up sex" by talking like an anime character. We had to stop after the line, "Your vagina will crumble before the power of my Hypercock!" FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said, "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML
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Top comments
Psychotic_Snail 0
hahaha hes a keeper
dragsdotasniper 2
funny bf
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Comments (223)
buttercuppies 0
Watch out. It's innocent robot sex at first... then before you know it, !bam!... you're trapped in a world of lord of the rings and starwars role playing. Nerds, dorks and geeks don't have the capabilities of cloaking or masking their true selves... so, it's safe to say, if he gets his jollies off on this kind of stuff in his every day life, well you should already be expecting the worst(or best) when you get "hot and heavy".
Luuiiisss 0
hahahaha
letsstartari0txd 0
I actually laughed out loud when reading this one. this would have been hilarious in person.
romkuglen 1
looool
chulabby 0
at least hes not boring and hes creative lol
haleyboo1992 0
haha well if it's good then just let em do it
mandy1395 0
lmao. that is so epic!
roboter 0
oh man girl that feels so hood me and my boyfriend have had so much fun doing that expesicaly on our couch well i hope that you really liked it if not i can always have that threesome
jocOHelyn 0
LMAO.
schadenfreude26 0
I can go to Mars, Potter. I would need a ROCKETSHIP!