Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend, since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French, "What do you want, asshole?" It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML
Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML
Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML
Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML
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Top comments
MyMuse7 0
lol tell him to "**** off" in Portuguese. :)
makenna2011 6
lol next time you pick up use a different language
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Comments (127)
xnavysealx 0
lmfao im portugues too just tell him " vai te fuder caralho" :D
Uncouth 0
Should have just answered in Sign Language. That's what I do.
dansco 25
Trying sticking to English - fcuk off usual works ;)
nirvanalink 0
ha I speak portuguese too no joke!
mendes1987 0
yeah go portugal!
MwahFMLS 6
I like #16's idea.
briissocoollike 8
Lololol
snugglebuddy101 0
Hahaha woww