Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend, since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French, "What do you want, asshole?" It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML
Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML
Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML
Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MyMuse7 0
lol tell him to "**** off" in Portuguese. :)
makenna2011 6
lol next time you pick up use a different language
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
britasif27 5
lead him on hard and then. say you don't go for people with such annoying jobs!
Heidyslifesuckss 0
lmfaoooooooo awww sucksss , i be getting my ghetto voice & tell them to stop ******* calling & it works (:
Sparx1_1 16
Your ghetto voice just makes you sound like an idiot - they stop calling because once you tell them to stop they have to put your name on their do not call list.
Heidyslifesuckss 0
thankss
massie21492 0
kkkkkkkkkkkk ai sim! (:
skaterpaige 3
is that ur real eye in ur profile pic!? thats so cool!
haleyjoee 0
don't pick up? duh.
penguinazul 13
When I worked at a grocery store, there was this one Hispanic customer that discovered I could speak a little bit of Spanish because I said something like, "Hola, Como estas!" and for some idiotic reason told him I was a Spanish major in school (Not anymore!). This was when I was a freshman and I wasn't really fluent, but apparently he thought I was. Every time he came in the store after that, he would try to hold conversations with me in Spanish, and naturally, those were the times that I forgot how to say "I don't speak that much Spanish." It was rather annoying. I quit working that store and switched majors, so hopefully that won't happen to me anymore, lol.
EvilDave 13
Next time, try Klingon.
Locoluis 15
No, don't do it. Klingon telemarketers are scary beings, you may be talking with one...
KickItHigh 32
maybe she enhanced it to make it look more blue
X207 2
I posted a comment in portuguese here that was saying in portuguese that you deserved it and congratulating you for knowing how to speak in portuguese...
X207 2
I posted a comment in portuguese here that was saying in portuguese that you deserved it and congratulating you for knowing how to speak in portuguese...
aissie 2
when they call, pick up and act like their calling a suicide hotline or a sex operator. Act like you're a telemarketer from the same company. Or even better, answer and pretend to take a massive shit with strains, groans, and multiple flushes. Keeping saying yes, when they ask for your info just say yes. They'll either get mad, freaked out, or hang up.
psynetFM 0
aissie, do you have skype? Loads of fun to manipulate people over the phone.
aissie 2
yuh, but I don't use it anymore since the husband is home from over seas.