Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML
Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend, since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French, "What do you want, asshole?" It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you." FML
Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML
Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML
Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML
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Top comments
MyMuse7 0
lol tell him to "**** off" in Portuguese. :)
makenna2011 6
lol next time you pick up use a different language
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Comments (127)
Livinia 11
Just hang up.
louie111887 0
hi divinia can I message you? im not an idiot? hehe : )
louie111887 0
hi livinia im not an idiot. can we message eachother? I wanna ask you about australia hehe : )
PeteyPablo12308 20
Awww, just talk to the guy... Maybe it will turn into something special. Lmfao.
OhhDamnnnnn 3
hahaha
xtacticalswarmx 0
xD Achievement Unlocked: Seduce Raule the Telemarketer
NineFishMffns_fml 0
aha :D!
skaterpaige 3
LOL. xD
morinalexandra 4
hahaha! soo true ive done telemarketing and when i found people speaking swedish i got really excited too!
RaineLee 5
Just ignore their calls? Or hang up.
louie111887 0
you should curse them out. they will stop calling after that. but you need to be really mean though.
Eff_Yuhr_LiFE 0
Bahahahaha . <3 .
little_monster21 0
dont pick up, is that so hard??
osky_209 0
it is because they call multiple times a day. we get more than 5 calls a day from the same company/telemarketer.
Randuhh_17 4
it is, when your phone rings constantly. it's rather annoying. I usually answer the phone talking like old Greg. go to YouTube and watch old Greg, most hilarious thing ever. they eventually hang up on me..hahahaa!
aardvarkish 17
"Ha ha! I don't really speak Portuguese. I jay learned that line from an album."
xx_Sarah_xxxxx 6
well at least you made a new friend..... pahaha :)
HeavyMetalViking 0
Speak Chinese, I don't think they have Chinese telemarketers. Chinese people are too busy selling noodles and fake goods.
laurbear12 3
or math hahaha
HeavyMetalViking 0
I'm of Chinese descent and I'm close to failing math every semester. :(
laurbear12 3
just playing along with the stereotyping ;)