Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML
Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML
Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
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Top comments
DreamStatic 8
You must have been beggin for real bacon after that.
Ian7890 23
Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Gotta get that bacon!
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Comments (97)
RoboCunnilingus 23
Close enough.
Chanti_fml 26
A barking mad bacon sandwich!
Aussieinusa 5
At least she tried! I would love it if someone made me a sammich, as long as it didn't have doggy bacon. I don't need a shiny coat
cuppycakeslove 20
Now I'm really craving a bacon sandwich. Not a dog treat one, just a normal one. Yummm
Aussieinusa 5
One BLT coming up
Xatraris 38
BLT= Bacon, Little more bacon, Throw on more bacon.
BlueRainDude 11
You could make one for OP he deserves a treat after that mess. Not dog treats might I add.
brokenman5 6
Maybe she likes them and wanted to see what you thought of them hehehe...
NessaMae 19
I'm sorry OP but I think your girlfriend might be a little...slow...
DinosaurTacoTime 18
Strangely I've always like the smell of those. I would never eat them though. How much did you eat before asking about the bacon?
Squygm 7
Someone doesn't read labels.
Wizardo 34
She was barking up the wrong tree, I bet you were wagging at the chance for some real meat and not the woofing poor substitute fit for dogs.
adriianaa_xox 12
nothing better than bacon shmackos !