Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML
Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
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Top comments
Ethan_Anonymous 28
I hate when I'm checking out a girl and they try to show off. Like really, if I'm checking you out and you notice and are into me, just talk to me
Wizardo 34
Warning shots fired.
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Comments (105)
lulinator 40
Must have been a quiet bar. No bar I've ever been to you'd actually be able to hear anyone fart over the music and the voices.
SecundusSecunda 27
Bubble fart bubble fart bubble bubble fart
Rainyknights22 16
I would've died laughing lol
greg84_fml 21
I almost did reading this fml.
oobergoober89 16
Bubble wrap is supposed to be stress relieving, not inducing
martin8337 36
His loss,.
orios105 18
if was the guy I probably would of laughed. I mean everybody farts. I wouldn't have left just like that.
Kevinmeowbeanz 22
that's hot
hardcorefan16 22
Never bend down. You never know what is going to happen!
beeferjay 34
that's what I told her...
steam_engenius 21
How could you not know that would happen if your gas was that bad? I mean, that really sucks. But I guess I can't imagine not feeling that beforehand or not being able to hold it.
ohmyrosie 14
a show it was lol but hey! something to laugh at later :)