Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
All sexed up
Today, I found dried cum in my hair - after being at work for two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Galo
🌶️ Spicy
He enjoyed himself way too much
Today, I had to clean cum from one of the seats of the movie theater where I work at as a cleaner. FML
Anonymous
Not what you think
Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML
Anonymous
Vancouver, United States
Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML
Anonymous
Chicago, United States
Dribble drizzle
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML
Anonymous
Great look
Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML
SnotScrubber
Tulsa, United States
Disgusting
Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML
g_unit
Canada
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
ewwgross
United States
Bad hair day
Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML
notmine
New Delhi, India
Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML
RetailJocky
This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
Tarred
Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML
Top comments
smokeymcpottt 3
He tried to get your hair pregnant.
UnicornsDoExist 0
There's this thing called a shower. It's new and everything, but t does work.
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Comments (259)
realityreject 0
ydi for not taking a shower and how did you know it was cum op?(;
IJam2DMB 0
you are sexy. I would lock you in my basement. I would also lick your asshole
BiggPhilly 0
next time tell him to aim lower?? lol ydi
cathyran25 0
bahhahahaha lmao
tnglator 4
u dirty *****
vincent_vega_fml 0
under your boss' desk again?!
sallen0046 4
Not only did you chose not to bathe before going to work, but you obviously didn't even bother to brush your hair. You can't complain about what's in your hair when you've practiced absolutely no personal hygiene.
CoachLlama 5
Sounds like you are about to get on the fast track for a promotion.
Illyssa_fml 4
Haha ydi for sucking so much D.. and not showering. Ew
azianzenzation 0
there's something about Mary. lol
salgado 0
are you a sex worker??