Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML
Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
Today, a guy I've been seeing called me really drunk again to talk about his and his cat's angst. He put me on speaker so I could have a meowing-conversation with his cat to soothe her. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML
Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML
Today, I went to the restaurant where my date and I were supposed to meet. After half an hour he still hadn't arrived, so I texted him. He replied with a half-hearted apology and said he couldn't come because his cat had fallen asleep on his lap and he didn't want to wake it. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML
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Top comments
Failzoid 0
Dude. You should have joined them in the basket. Enough room for twooo ;3
Focnr 0
SPARTA
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Comments (98)
Hoeck 0
Wow. What do you think HE think the cat and him talked about? And what about the dog, not only did he ignore the dog all night, he also stole his bed!
ruben7467 0
sounds like a dog to me
cornsnake 0
sounds like something i would do.
dancingdoggy 4
Haha same. Sometimes people get curious, and just try out how something feels. Maybe it was crazy comfy, and he just fell asleep.
redbluegreen 41
Your comment and name made me laugh.
yem2004 0
that's just plain funny!
aback 5
If your cat turns up pregnant, shoot him.
Fentown_fml 4
OMG that's hilarious
DameGreyWulf 1
FURRY! No actually he was probably pretty nervous, thus the corner. He probably likes cats, thus the petting and talking to the cat. I know if I am nervous, alone, or feel out of place, I tend to spend more time with the pets than with the people lol... So, it's just a nervous reaction, nothing to get upset about. The dog basket thing is a little odd though, but how drunk was he? .... I bet it looked cute, him snuggled in there. [/afterthought]
redbluegreen 41
... Do I sense a sort of, erm, crush, Dame? I'm exactly the same way. Well, sort of. I wouldn't sleep in a basket, no matter how much I drank.
DameGreyWulf 1
I don't think I would either, since I usually need some room for spreading out, but I've been known to sleep in odder places...
Besker 0
Mercy, I'd say they're more dangerous when they don't know it yet. I've been to some raves where that's led to some scary shit
lkoinuchan 0
AWWW!!!! That sounds ADORABLE!!! X3 ...but if he wasn't just being random, or didn't seem to have a reason for it, he's probably schitzophrenic; so you might want to have him go to a psychologist...or if he doesn't agree to it tell him it's the vet (lol jk).
Bassmanjjm33 0
you don't deserve him he seems cute
peaceandluv614 0
Thats just weird
feed_the_ducks 0
and this is why you must be careful with the people you befriend online.