Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML
Today, I stepped on a glue trap for scorpions. Bare foot. There was a scorpion already caught on it. It wasn't dead. FML
Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML
Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML
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Top comments
Doritozilla 20
Imagine just sitting there relaxing when all of the sudden a giant foot squishes you? o.O
then000bster 16
Sounds like you had a smashing time.
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Comments (97)
Nick_Le_Geek 10
Today, I was just hoppin' along in the nice cool dawn, like a frog. Then this big, blundering oaf of a human comes and squishes me not with a car, but his bare foot, causing me seemingly endless suffering as the air is forced from my lungs. FML.
fml1365 30
F your life and the frogs..
kathryn14 19
Like any of us believe you were stepping out for some air. Who were you seeing? ;)
ikilledaman 9
Today, I was chillin in my lawn, minding my own business, when suddenly, out of nowhere, a foot crushed me. I died. FML
AtomicDiamond87 15
I'm laughing at the comments but still feel bad for the frog. It didn't deserve that.
puzzy 13
I stepped on a slug when i was younger in sandals and it got on my foot. Grossest feeling.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Was it toad-ally horrifying or toe-tally horrifying? Barefoot amphibian stomping makes it difficult to find the proper bad puns...
BriannaMGK 15
I wonder if you can get warts that way?! Lol
Savner 16
More like **** the frogs life
lovelyrevenge21 14
I have 3 frogs as pets.... This post just about broke my heart ...