Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally shoved my finger up my cat's butt while trying to push him off my nightstand in the dark. FML
Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML
Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 12 AM. After I told her to chill, I realized the mattress needed some air. Inflating it didn't work so I looked for the puncture wound. While trying to find a hot glue stick to patch it with, I got a thin shard of glass in my foot, which broke while I tried to get it out. FML
Today, my cat pissed on my bed, so I had to change the sheets. Just as I got out of bed and take my first step, I stepped in my cat's poop as well and slipped, spraining my ankle. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I was in the middle of my workout when my cat meowed so loudly, it startled me into dropping a 50-pound weight onto my foot. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Social animals (and yes, “those” dog people, this includes cats) can recognize from behavior when a member of their group hurt them by accident or intentionally. Your cat probably knows you didn’t intend to hurt her. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll be unguarded around you for a while, but she’ll relax again eventually.
TwoBytesCarley 27
I’ll have to disagree with your last statement. My dog has never figured out that her being underfoot is going to sometimes result on her paw or tail being stepped on, or sometimes getting kicked (all accidental). It’s been 10 years. Sometimes they just don’t learn.
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Comments (2)
Anderling 33
Social animals (and yes, “those” dog people, this includes cats) can recognize from behavior when a member of their group hurt them by accident or intentionally. Your cat probably knows you didn’t intend to hurt her. That doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll be unguarded around you for a while, but she’ll relax again eventually.
cacheson 42
Some animals just like to be constantly underfoot. It’s their personality. Eventually she will learn to not get under you.
TwoBytesCarley 27
I’ll have to disagree with your last statement. My dog has never figured out that her being underfoot is going to sometimes result on her paw or tail being stepped on, or sometimes getting kicked (all accidental). It’s been 10 years. Sometimes they just don’t learn.
Anderling 33
Some animals are eerily clever and then sometimes you meet an animal where you just know in your soul that there’s just a 90’s windows screensaver where their brain should be.