Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
killface_fml 0
Next time use a cell phone.
lol_everyday 0
HAHAHAHA. don't you have a cell phone???
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Comments (111)
dang_fml 0
why didn't he hang up once he realized someone else was on the phone???
_violet_ 0
i agree with 28. if you're young enough to be living at home and caught by your dad, you're too young to be doing that in the first place.
Misanthropist 0
@29, moron of the moth? Is there a genius of the butterfly award as well? First rule of being a smart-ass smack-talker, don't make yourself look like an idiot. @OP, can I get your number?
mrdeeds23 0
use the cell phone next time pal. who haas a house phone still anyway?
chemical182 0
I truly do not understand why everyone is calling the dad a creep. The daughter is the one talking dirty on the house phone. If anyone is creepy, it's her. Also, if she was my daughter I would have listened so I could tell her exactly why she was getting her phone privileges taken away. YDI
gleidu77 0
weird that your dad would listen for that long... you would think he'd be grossed out and hang up. also, yeah you should definitely use a cell phone if you have one. if not.. don't talk dirty to your boyfriend on your family line. it's just a terrible idea.
tinkerbell67 0
wtfff don't do this on your home phone!
EmptyIam 0
Hahahahaha like wow hahahaha how wude lol
tokyooo123 0
never, never, never have phone sex on the house phone...never. someone is BOUND to pick up
alex_vik 1
That's what you get for using a phone anyone can easily eavesdrop on.