Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
killface_fml 0
Next time use a cell phone.
lol_everyday 0
HAHAHAHA. don't you have a cell phone???
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Comments (111)
mattypants 0
Need Cellphone? why would you use a shared line to talk like that...it's one thing if you live by yourself but under your parent's roof?
PrettyVal 0
Use a cell phone for private conversations...general rule. If you can't, stop talking dirty to your boyfriend!
musiclife_fml 0
like most of the other posters... USE A DAMN CELLPHONE next time
littlehead_fml 0
lmfaaaoo ii wouldd say something like use a cell phonee buhh, something like tht happened to me beforee .. my grandmother picked up the phone ii got in ALOTA trouble tht nightt .. =/
kitty911 0
Hah well that sounds formiliar, except i was talking dirty with my dad( hes 17 and my mom picked up) then when he got home we ****** hard and dirty. For over an hour then my mom joined in on the action ( it was so ******* awesome) escpecially when ur dad looks like a younger version of zac efron. And woo hoo u guys dont knock it til ya try it ; blowing ur dad is fun cuz his jynk is huge and adults cum waay more :) yummm
IRISistable 0
#88 u scare me ur incest dude thats gross i threw up a lil
f_m_l_so_much 0
#88 wat on earth r u thinking?!?!? wait! no u wernt thts obious! u discust me, thts...
HunnyBadger 5
You do that too?!
megggann 0
That sucks!
yertsey 0
He waited that long to announce that he heard it?
Bautista_fml 0
**** your dad is creeppy, listening to it all..
rapboy313 0
your dad should mind his own buisness
sinergy 0
That's a little creepy if he listened to the ENTIRE conversation...