Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
killface_fml 0
Next time use a cell phone.
lol_everyday 0
HAHAHAHA. don't you have a cell phone???
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
designedbygods 0
Not everyone has a cell phone, you guys. Especially not everyone can afford them. Besides, if the OP did have a cell and didn't have unlimited minutes, it's dumb to waste them all. Anyways, YDI for not thinking someone could pick up the phone, though it's a bit creepy that the dad listened.
OnTheRun 0
dont ever do that on the house phone, are you insane? hahaha use a damn cellphone! YDI!
xlucklessloverx 0
wait a second... if ur dad heard the whole thing does that mean he actually stayed on the phone and listened? PERV.
dirtym3xi 0
thats one creepy ass dad
kenddrraaa 0
Haha Dumb girls these days. Both of you need to keep it in your pants then you'd have nothing to worry about.
mzmaverickd 7
Your dad is a perv! Why didn't he hang up or say something??? eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww
irlydontcare 0
what? the heavy panting didn't tip you off? maybe you should teach him a lesson and withhold from him any more daddy-daughter fun-time.
amykillswitch 0
awkwarddddd. good luck explaining that one.
heatherjay 0
um, your dad is disgusting.
well_this_sucks 0
why would your dad wanna hear all that? why wouldnt he hang up?