Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
killface_fml 0
Next time use a cell phone.
lol_everyday 0
HAHAHAHA. don't you have a cell phone???
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Comments (111)
jessxoxo28 5
wow... i would have been killed if my dad heard me say stuff like that... thats y there's something called a cell phone
assineyen 0
YDI. Agree with #73. Use a damn cell phone.
sneakersneaker 0
People still have landline phones? Welcome to 2009!
kutekatie123 0
sounds SEXY but be more carefull about your dad!
engineerd 0
who uses the house phone for that kind of stuff?? asshole. #53, while it's great to have sympathy for people who can't afford "luxuries" such as cell phones, I have hardly any for people who do stupid shit like the OP. if you don't have a cell phone, you don't have phone sex. simple as that. unless you live alone.
CAITx4OH1xCORE 0
seriously. house phones are terrible. ESPECIALLY with parent around.
InMemRyofUs 0
Dude.....that was dumb.
JN226 0
there's a new invention called a cell phone... you can google it.
playful2088 0
hahaha this suuuucks. i would've died. right on the spot.
sash_fml 0
i guess she hasnt heard of a cellphone...or she's 12....