Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours, while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up, my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML
Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML
Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML
Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML
Today, I shattered my ankle while mountain biking with my boyfriend. As I lay writhing on the ground, waiting for the ambulance, he traced the outline of my thigh and said, "You should get this suctioned out while you're in the hospital." FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
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Top comments
friedkabob1225 0
i love how the fml is your brother pulling out your leg hairs not the fact that you almost died
0mggirl 0
that sucks, i had a collapsed lung this summer and it's horrible. good luck.
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Comments (136)
cmac86 24
I'm sure that was the least of your worries, though. right? collapsed lung, internal bleeding, brain damage, etc. I'm sure you worried about the more pressing thing. oh? hair? I'm SO glad you're not a parmedic.
jaybrown 0
#39, next time you get hurt and you're stuck in the hospital for days, I don't want you to do anything. Just sit there curled up in a ball (or lying down depending on how badly you got hurt) remembering the crash and crying about it. Don't ask your mom/dad/significant other to bring anything like a laptop or cell for you to do, and don't turn on the TV. I doubt you'll get bored.
XanimalloverX 0
I had my laptop when I was in the hospital
dahockeymasta12 0
Have any of you idiots (especially #39) even thought for a second that had gotten out of the hospital before he posted this? BTW, OP, that sucks.
aertzc 0
HAHAHAHA I had to read this 3 times before I realized it was boned and not bagged
Phil9316 7
Lmaooo T-Bagged going 60mph hahahahah. thats funny.
spank_my_toaster 0
Today, I got T-bagged by a tranny going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while with blue balls, Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my ball hairs. FML. O_O
jordan75_fml 0
dam that sux get better soon!
fmylife82 0
#1 wat is t boning?
SAMHAlN 0
at he didn't get t-bagged by a man going 60 mph. haha
Bobby64 29
Well, if you're Robin Hood, steal the hair back! Problem solved.