Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family and we all decided to ride the tallest rollercoaster. As soon as the ride got going, I realized I'd made a huge mistake and was too terrified to open my eyes. I spent the entire ride screaming, with my hands over my eyes, and afterwards my cousin called me a wuss. FML
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML
Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML
Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, I went to a theme park with my friends. I was excited to ride the rollercoasters, but just as we were about to get on the biggest one, I realized I'd had left my glasses in the car. I can't see shit without them, but I decided to go on the ride anyway. I spent the entire time screaming in terror while my friends laughed, while I couldn't see a thing. FML
Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML
Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML
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Top comments
ama17 0
That's quite a new take on just screaming, "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!"
Shock98 0
hahahah. what the heckkk. how did you not notice that?
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Comments (296)
Anonanimal 0
FAKE.
Hjelloo 0
That's stupid. ******* religious trash.
Delilahlilah 0
You're pathetic.
TheCowGoesMoo13 0
yeah
ForTheFuckingWin 0
This really isn't funny.
Rascal_620 0
Um... Really? What the hell? If something goes wrong, something goes wrong. You can't stop it, and you shouldn't be such a pussy to be so scared. Besides praying isn't going to save you anyway. What would is being rational about the situation (if something where to go wrong) and having a clear head.
Lozza 0
Wow, I can't believe a perfectly rational, intelligent statement has been "voted negative" by all the religious idiots who can't face the facts. Way to go, assholes.
ifailplzinsultme 0
the facts are we aren't here by accident. That's the fact. We all know who made us. It wasn't the big-bang. (sorry but I'm goin all Christian on you)
LostThePlot 3
OP is clearly still alive. So his prayers could have worked :')
cutebebe778 0
Hahaha, I've gotta admit that's pretty hilarious. If I was on that rollercoaster and heard you I'd probably burst out laughing. Hopefully they thought it was funny and laughed at it rather than giving you dirty looks. Some people take shit too seriously.
netbeui435 3
weird. psycho.
Reena03 0
ROFL, oh wow, rollar coaster are live and fun.
fxdxhk90 0
Someone spends way too much time in church.
nofrillz 0
stupid religous people god isn't real
ohmyerica 0
No, but spell check is.
jilleuhhn 0
AHAHAHAHA #42 = win.
FalconWhitaker 20
Nice one! :D I lol'd.
brown_eyed_girl 0
what did he spell wrong...? if its the fact that he didn't capitalize god, then ur an ass.
brown_eyed_girl 0
my bad my bad my bad, that's usually how i spell religious hahaha. but it's just one mistake, get over it.
darkmis1 18
that's it-if you type "god" the computer either says it's wrong, or automatically changes it to "God"
ZuRG_fml 7
Don't rely on MS Word? Firefox recognizes uncapitalized god as a noun. Apparently Microsoft is Christian-oriented in addition to being just evil? (Just Christian, not even vague enough to handle the other Abrahamic religions. Muslim spellcheck would take god -> Allah, Jewish spellcheck would take god -> G-d.)
danettestrong 0
that's so something I would do :) adorable! to the assholes saying praying wouldn't do anything.. maybe you have no religious beliefs but to those who do (regardless of who they pray to) prayer helps them get thru anything that scares them or troubles them. to call them stupid for that or to expect them to believe like you do makes you more narrow minded and intolerant than most religious fanatics.
tameingraleat 6
#37 - I like your reasoning. I agree with you, in fact. I wish we could all just live and let live. I am not Christian and likely will never be - I'm too analytical, too busy looking for proof. But that doesn't mean that I think everyone around me should be as faithless. If you have the ability to have faith in something, great! I'm glad you can. You live your life as you please, and I'll live mine as I please, and we'll all be happy. I really don't hold with this nonsense about "converting" people. Just ... everyone leave everyone else alone! :P
Sokai_fml 0
One of the most intelligent comments I've read here so far. Kudos to you.