Today, my wife has implemented a point-based system for sex. The list she sent shows I can I earn, for example, 20 points for washing the dishes, 50 for vacuuming the house, but only 5 for walking the dog. I get some action for every 5,000 points I earn, which should take about 4 months if I really work at it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML
Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, it's been exactly one year since I’ve had sex, and even that was because my wife caught me masturbating and helped me out with a zero effort handjob that was over in 15 seconds, since I’d already done 90% of the work. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML
Today, my wife made a system where I earn gaming time by either giving her money or doing her favors. Now whenever I use my phone, she accuses me of "secretly playing Xbox games" and gets pissed at me. I'm 28 years-old. FML
Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML
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Top comments
TergesteCity 12
Time for her to be your ex wife i believe. Sex in marriage shouldn't be used as a prize, it should be a normal sign of affection from both parts. That right there is instead manipulative behavior. Just try to immagine it with role reversed to see how crazy it is: what if you implmented a point based system for house works? She can learn, for example, 20 point for a *******, 50 for sex, but only 5 for a handjob; she get some housework done for every 5.000 points she earn.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Give her a points-based system for you not divorcing her. Only one item on the list, tearing up her list and apologising for ever daring to send it to you.
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Comments (15)
cpguru24 18
YDI for putting up with this.
Crowned Sataness 12
if she works and you don't ever help around the house, then YDI get off your lazy ass if you do your equal share and she's just avoiding sex, it's time to let the marriage go. don't tolerate this. this is abuse and women wonder why men cheat
FluffythePink 23
Seriously out there suggestion, but have you actually tried regularly helping with the housework to see how fast this system just magically vanishes? Lazy arse mofos do not make for good or attractive partners.