Today, while reading an erotic story, I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML
Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML
Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML
Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML
Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
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Top comments
superminty 18
Mmmm, yeah....henceforth, subsequently. Keep going, don't stop.
perdix 31
I'm pleased that the OP finds grammatical devices stimulating, moreover that these devices outshine the exotic content, although this seems dubious. Nevertheless, the OP has expressed this preference, albeit unusual, which one most of us haven't considered heretofore is undoubtedly a real one, thus we have to seek ways to please readers like the OP henceforth. Was that as good for you as it was for me?
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Comments (87)
asb818 14
That just means you like great literature and not poorly written novels. Unfortunately, I don't think you're going to find any well written erotica so I guess you're screwed...or not...or will be...or....
perdix 31
I'm pleased that the OP finds grammatical devices stimulating, moreover that these devices outshine the exotic content, although this seems dubious. Nevertheless, the OP has expressed this preference, albeit unusual, which one most of us haven't considered heretofore is undoubtedly a real one, thus we have to seek ways to please readers like the OP henceforth. Was that as good for you as it was for me?
DrunkButterfly 17
Perdix, that was genius! Looks like Noor needs a private moment lol!!
ElricMustang 23
Now I know what OP means, gimme a second...
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
Op should know that the stuff I right has plenty of those.
perdix 31
#66, I'm sure the OP will doubtlessly experience multiple orgasms when she reads your "rightings."
RedPillSucks 33
so you were thrilled by the Twilight series, right? no?
MNBOY16 15
I have a feeling your sexy life is very boring. I hope you are single.
Ginyoshi 5
English major?
Shmatterhorn 38
...a better love story than Twilight.
hannaaaahr 33
if the writer used a conjunctive adverb I'm pretty sure it was indeed better than Twilight.
carlistar27 10
Smart mind= hot mind in my book
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Were you reading 50 Shades of Grey? What am I saying, the author can barely write, she would not use a conjunctive adverb :)
283leis 8
That's b/c it was originally twilight fanfiction and no intellectual person reads twilight.
mistercrow 9
Not saying I'm an intellectual but I am pretty sure no intellectual says "b/c", Hun ;p
twinkiefeets 17
That's pathetic.
tintaroja 14
I bet you would climax if you read Borges....