Today, I was intimate with my girlfriend for the first time, after watching an episode of Jimmy Neutron. I got so excited that I came in less than 20 seconds and yelled, "Brain blast!" as I did. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed "Oh my god!" for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a TV into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
They say we men think with our dick. You just gave them more evidence supporting that.
Chazzster 32
The first time for most guys you are over-excited from anticipation and ****** too quick. But when you’re young you can go again in 15 minutes or so. Bring more than one condom. The second time will be better for both of you… Either OP is pretty young or seems kind of immature to do the Sponge Bob thing. But to be honest, during sex the male brain usually goes to a simpler place than ordinarily. It’s not the worst thing you could have said… Everything gets better with practice - But so do the odds of an unwanted pregnancy or STD if you aren’t careful.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
They say we men think with our dick. You just gave them more evidence supporting that.
Chazzster 32
The first time for most guys you are over-excited from anticipation and ****** too quick. But when you’re young you can go again in 15 minutes or so. Bring more than one condom. The second time will be better for both of you… Either OP is pretty young or seems kind of immature to do the Sponge Bob thing. But to be honest, during sex the male brain usually goes to a simpler place than ordinarily. It’s not the worst thing you could have said… Everything gets better with practice - But so do the odds of an unwanted pregnancy or STD if you aren’t careful.