Nearly FMLs

Today, I hate living, call it passive suicide, but I don't desire to be here. My last anchor is my son. I lost my other two and he's the ONLY thing keeping me here. FML

Today, I had to tell my employees that they could not use bereavement leave to take time off after TikTok shut down. These people are in their thirties. FML

Today, I found out the actor I got a crush on (Gino Vento) is in a relationship since at least 2018. I've been extra delulu about ending up with him and now I'm completely shattered. The worst is, I brought this on myself. FML

Today, I tried to comment on FML, but for some reason the comment tab won't activate. I am signed in. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend doesn’t want to spend the holidays with me. FML

Today, I was reading an FML and leaned that I can get cramps from my asshole. FML

Today, even this page for people who's lives are awful didn't want to hear from me. I really am a nuisance. FML

Today, I feel like I am absolutely losing control over my life again. My child was supposed to be my reason for living but he is now my reason for wanting to cross the street with my eyes closed. I can't seem to fix my head. The dark side keeps saying, "Just drop him off somewhere safe and then just kill yourself." FML

Today, does anyone else miss RichardPencil? I've not seen one of his comments in ages. Hell, sometimes his little comments were the only reason I’d visit, they were funnier than the actual FML. Come back RichardPencil we miss you. FML

Today, my country elected a fascist as president. Now I have to either stay and risk getting killed as a queer person, or pick up my life and head abroad. I hear Ireland is gorgeous. FML

Today, my country decided that electing a perverted racist creep once wasn't good enough. It's gonna be another long four years. FML

Today, my 77 year-old dad is in excellent heath, ready to age beautifully for at least 15 more years, like his father before him… Except he lives in a war zone. FML

Today, I threw paint on a jerk canvassing for Donald Trump. Later, I got a huge bill for replacing his expensive suit. Don't want your suit wrecked? Don't campaign for a racist fascist piece of shit. FML

Today, like every other day, this site is just little kids whining about nothing. FML

Today, I realized it's 2024 and nobody has used this site daily in I don't know how long. We're getting old, and all our kool shit is dated. FML

Today, my last FML was apparently so depressing that FML has rejected it twice. FML

Today, I was reading FML, just wanting to unload after a hard day. It was all teenager problems. FML

Today, I'm getting sick of all these fucking Swedes and Fins talking about how good certain elements of their societies are. Like, yeah, good for you. Shut the fuck up. I keep hearing about you and I feel regret because I was picking my nose in a subpar nation instead of getting A's in the best country in the fucking world. FML

Today, I think I'm attracted to my turtle plushie. Yeah, it's just so sexy, I wanna re-stuff it, if you know what I mean. FML

Today, I woke up to the news that someone tried to assassinate Donald Trump and failed. I think I speak for everyone when I say, FML

Today, and every day since I watched my president collapse in a debate with a convicted felon, I'm too anxious to sleep or eat. My country's highest court has given said convicted felon a free pass for his crimes, and if he comes into office again, I will be hunted down for not being white and straight. FML

Today, I remembered that this app existed and decided to download it again. Then I realized I'm already archaic and I'm only 22. I thought this was my prime, how are 19 year-olds calling me "Unc" already? FML

Today, I don't know what to do with my life. It's so fucking boring! What can I do? If you guys have any suggestions… FML

Today, my roommate bitched me out for not doing my dishes and how he always has to clean them. I told him to chill out. He went out, bought a pair of fairy wings from a party store, put them on, and started cleaning the dishes. He sarcastically called himself the "magic dish fairy." FML

Today, my boyfriend has a porn addiction or a masturbation addiction. He does it frequently and he says it's a better orgasm than having sex. Is that true? FML

Today, I showed a picture of an actress to my girlfriend and said I found her pretty. I didn't expect my girlfriend to be angry about it. I mean, it's okay to have celebrity crushes to me, but I guess she didn't like it and now I don't know what to do. FML

Today, I'm still in shock after the woman I've been dating for two weeks told me I gave her her first orgasm ever. We're both in our 50s and are each grandparents. I feel like I have set the bar incredibly high for myself, but mostly F*Her*L, that is incredibly sad. FML

Today, we live in an era where women look down on short men, but look up to OnlyFans models. FML

Today, I waited for two hours to get my wife to come to bed. She always does this, and gets mad when I try to wake her. I know I'm going to be the "bad guy" for going to bed without her. I'm so tired of this BS. FML

Today, I'm still dreaming about my ex dearly, even though I already have a new girlfriend. I couldn't find in my heart to completely move on from her, because I told her that she would always have a special place in my heart. I feel bad about it, but I still can't change it. FML