Today, while on my way to deliver aluminum to a customer on top of a really steep hill, there wasn't enough room to do a U-turn without clipping a vehicle. I had to go through some mud, so now the company semi is bumper-deep in it. FML
Today, was an absolute mess. It began with getting a towel caught on my nose ring and ended with my car catching on fire. FML
Today, it was one of those rare occasions I wore shorts. The first thing my male cousin said was, "Why so sexy?” Misogyny is why I don’t wear shorts. FML
Today, I live in a tiny village in the countryside. Nice and quiet, right? Wrong. The farm next door rents out their land to some kind of soil processing company. Basically, it’s like living next to a never-ending construction site that knows neither Sundays nor holidays. FML
Today, despite begging my parents to get food other than diet and weight loss stuff, they refused. I'm bullied for being skinny on a daily basis. FML
Today, my friend and I took an online quiz to find out what character from Lord of the Rings we look like. She got Arwen. I got Gollum. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn’t have me as a pinned text message thread on his phone. But he definitely has his female best friend pinned. He even has a cute nickname for her. The girl he says, "Not to worry about." FML
Today, if you have a job in my country, you automatically have health insurance. Without a job, you can get “voluntary insurance”. No, let me rephrase that: You are legally required to get “voluntary” insurance. Whether you can afford it or not. FML
Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML
Today my husband went to buy a car from some guy from Facebook. He ended up giving the guy $1000 upfront before receiving the title or bill of sale. So now, we have a car we can't use, we're completely broke now, and the guy is ghosting us. FML
Today, at my new job at McDonald’s, they only had uniform pants in a size 36 or 56, nothing in between. I’m a size 40 so I squeezed into the 36. When I told my supervisor I couldn’t tuck my shirt into the pants like they asked, because I couldn’t close the top button, she told me to lose weight. FML
Today, I found out about bitcoin around 2012 when it cost $20. I had about $40k of money to invest at the time. That would be about 2,000 BTC. If I'd just bought and held onto it until now, it would be worth $60,000,000. FML
Today, you’re required to have health insurance in my country. I have no income, I spend more on insurance than on food, yet most of the treatments that actually help me are not covered by the insurance. FML
Today, I was terminated from my job because my boss “felt like it.” My parents have made it clear to me that if I am ever fired from a job, for any reason, they will kick me out on the street and never speak to me again. FML
Today, after a really bad day, I just wanted to order DoorDash. When my food came, I saw my burger had tomatoes in it, despite requesting no tomatoes. I’m deathly allergic. FML
Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML
Today, my hypochondria is getting worse. I think it's because of watching too much Grey's Anatomy. FML
Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML
Today, I saw the Steelers throw the game to the Browns. I get it, you don't want to go to the Superbowl, but could you try being more realistic than staged wrestling? FML
Today, I started my period and have cramps that came from the hottest part of hell. I also have to go to work so that I don’t lose my holiday pay. Happy New Year to me. FML
Today, I took a part time job at McDonald’s and started working in the kitchen. The floor is so greasy, you can’t walk normally, you move around like you’re on an ice rink. With some momentum built up, you can even slide a couple of meters when no one is looking. FML
Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML
Today, after graduating from the same program, I was offered several jobs, while my boyfriend wasn’t. He couldn’t be happy for me, saying, "She got in with the right people, and they just keep handing her jobs," and dismissing my work ethic. FML
Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML
Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML
Today, my girlfriend of six years burst into tears and said yes repeatedly when I presented her with a ring. I then had to explain that it was a promise ring, not an engagement ring. She looked me in the eye and dumped me on the spot. Apparently, promise rings are for teenagers, not couples in their thirties. FML
Today, I got my first Android phone. Being aware that they are somewhat inclined to collecting data about you, I was still surprised when I had to tell the eBay app, of all things, that it wasn't allowed to know how much I exercise. FML
Today, I had the best date I've had in my life, until after we ate and split an expensive dinner out, we came back to my place and she then told me she was homeless, and wasn't looking to date but for a couch to crash on. She won't leave. Happy fucking New Year. FML
Today, my boyfriend of three years hooked up with a girl who got herpes from a Michigan football player. FML
Today, I found out the first person I was able to open up to in nearly ten years is already in a relationship. FML
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