jason · 25 April 2024, 06:00 ·Las Vegas, United States

Welcome to the rest of your life

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526 You deserved it 119

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StijnDescamps · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Bon appétit

Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859 You deserved it 2 586

9 comments Share

Anamaria · 25 April 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Gamergate 3

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834 You deserved it 163

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Anonymous · 24 April 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Insane rules

Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515 You deserved it 128

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Anonymous · 24 April 2024, 20:00 ·Westhampton Beach, United States

Thanks Taylor

Today, I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album. I’m a life long Swiftie. I also had a baby last year. Her name is Aimee. One of the lyrics in Taylor’s new song is “F**ck you, Aimee.” Now I can’t listen to this album with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178 You deserved it 551

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anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·Norway

Sheer class

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825 You deserved it 38 518

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Qwizzyk · 24 April 2024, 16:00 ·Tula, Russia

Brained

Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 728

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Polar Bear 2020 · 24 April 2024, 14:00 ·India

Feral kitty

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · 24 April 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

He gets around

Today, when my dad said he was dating a woman he met at his retirees social club, I assumed it was a woman also in her 60s. Nope. Barmaid. A whole 42 years younger than him, 9 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515 You deserved it 119

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Anonymous · 24 April 2024, 09:00 ·Jamaica

Bad look

Today, after patiently waiting to see my boyfriend for a month because he was overseas, I excitedly went to the airport to finally pick him up, only for him to walk straight past me to greet his friends. He didn't even bring back anything for me, but brought back a suitcase full of goodies for his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612 You deserved it 117

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Portland, United States

Gooooooooooal!

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 961 You deserved it 38 877

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Anonymous · 24 April 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Exploited

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 23 April 2024, 22:00 ·Auburn, United States

Squatters' rights

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578 You deserved it 178

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Juan · 23 April 2024, 20:00 ·Tokyo, Japan

Private talent show

Today, we live in a terraced house with very thin walls. For no reason, I sang "Una paloma blanca, I have a huge hairy cock" loudly in the bathroom. I walked down the garden path and encountered my neighbour, who laughed and sang "Una paloma blanca" whilst nodding knowingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 You deserved it 524

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Nic · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Smooth operator

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 963 You deserved it 46 085

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Anonymous · 23 April 2024, 16:00 ·Spain

Sick of it

Today, the best moment of my day is when I wake up because I need to use the bathroom, then afterwards look at the clock to see that there's only a couple of hours before I have to get up for good and face another day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367 You deserved it 120

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Karen · 23 April 2024, 14:00 ·Solon, United States

Ungrateful

Today, a customer called me a "smart ass" because I helped him scan his coupon correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428 You deserved it 84

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Anonymous · 23 April 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Sing it again

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445 You deserved it 88

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Me. · 23 April 2024, 09:00 ·United States

You are always on my mind

Today, it's been almost five years since the cat I grew up with passed away. I STILL have dreams where she's alive and well, only to be utterly crushed when I wake up and realize it's just that: a dream. I also have dreams like this with my grandma, who died last year. I guess I'll never get over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515 You deserved it 115

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Lisa · 23 April 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Fuzzy logic

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664 You deserved it 96

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Leah · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Motivated

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 286 You deserved it 2 707

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dean · 23 April 2024, 00:00 ·United States

This is your brain under capitalism

Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 164

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Anonymous · 22 April 2024, 22:00 ·Anaheim, United States

Blocked and reported

Today, I had to call social services after a couple once again brought their baby in with severe allergic reactions. His allergy? The family dog. These idiots would rather let their kid die than get rid of the stupid mutt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550 You deserved it 158

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Boston, United States

Judgemental

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 555 You deserved it 7 850

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Anonymous · 22 April 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Surprise, human!

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 22 April 2024, 14:00 ·Warren, United States

Free healthcare when?

Today, after my dad hurt his shoulder, it turns out nothing is broken but we don't know anything else. He might have a rotator cuff tear, which will require surgery, and he's already been out of work for a week after he got rehired from being laid off. He's starting to lean on me financially and I get SSI only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429 You deserved it 119

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Lili · 22 April 2024, 12:00 ·Leavenworth, United States

If a tree falls…

Today, it was a VERY windy day. A tree blew over and landed on my car, obliterating the windows, and totalling it. I only bought it yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606 You deserved it 79

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Anonymous · 22 April 2024, 09:00

Scam artist's dream job

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548 You deserved it 128

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Anonymous · 22 April 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Extreme

Today, I found out why my colleagues make me stand on the far left or far right of group photos. It’s so they could edit me out, because apparently me being obese “ruins” the photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515 You deserved it 230

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upupandaway · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Love language

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 813 You deserved it 10 131

203 comments Share