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Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 1:16am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3947
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zomgbies : ~d(^_^)b~ Chillin at the speed of sound. Cranking dnb, trance, rock and metal.
I didn't intend on having a sideways pic. FML decided to go hipster on me

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zomgbies's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16872) - you deserved it (31967)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34837) - you deserved it (5789)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (5907)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42363) - you deserved it (9763)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12885) - you deserved it (37746)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30748) - you deserved it (3486)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (6226)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (7481)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16471) - you deserved it (40410)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (51476) - you deserved it (3880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32942) - you deserved it (9863)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33298) - you deserved it (15571)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35942) - you deserved it (6438)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

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