zomgbies

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Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 1:16am)

zomgbies

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4890
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zomgbies : ~d(^_^)b~ Chillin at the speed of sound. Cranking dnb, trance, rock and metal.
I didn't intend on having a sideways pic. FML decided to go hipster on me

zomgbies's page activity

Visits<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:11pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:44am<b>EnJey0</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:34am<b>Queenie2014</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:26pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:39am<b>Fennex3</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:09pm<b>gunnerette</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 2:04am<b>Generic_Toaster</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:20pm<b>brittaaany_93</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 1:12pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:35am<b>50011680</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 1:17pm<b>swick25</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:48pm<b>ebonyrose2828</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:01pm<b>jaaymurph103</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 6:42pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 5:28pm<b>nyikkins</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 3:52pm<b>notachinesewoman</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:36pm

zomgbies's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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zomgbies's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

by anonymous / 07/24/2013 at 9:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

by amanda / 07/23/2013 at 1:17am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

by solitaire / 07/20/2013 at 4:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a half-shaved head, thanks to the friends I let crash at my place last night. I have work in an hour and a half, and they hid my hair clippers. FML

by Eisenhorn / 07/20/2013 at 1:47am / United States / Work

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my coworkers glued pairs of different sized googly eyes all over my office equipment, seconds before an important client arrived. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

by help / 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Geek

Today, my husband and I threw a party with non-alcoholic wine. No one acted wasted, until in the last hour my grandmother started slurring her words and slumping. We thought she was joking, until a doctor at the party confirmed she was having a stroke. FML

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

by Garchomp / 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

by the hated / 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous