xxsakuraxx

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/19/2016 at 1:47pm)

xxsakuraxx

15Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6155
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - yesterday at 8:48am<b>LycanGod</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:58pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:15pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:11pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 5:53pm<b>deathrise007</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 1:38pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:42am<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:12pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:51pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:26am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:47pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:56pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 7:00am<b>writergirl1029</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 4:17am<b>sinverguenza</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:02pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Barskdyar</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:07pm<b>taybug1216</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 8:31am

Fucked!<b>deathrise007</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 7:38pm<b>taybug1216</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 2:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:18pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:39am<b>Tenker</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:05am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:08pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 5:34pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:10pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 8:05pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:08am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:21pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:36pm<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

xxsakuraxx's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of xxsakuraxx's badges

xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

by elsatheannoyed / 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

by dogdays / 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

by The Selfie Parent / 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Kids

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

by Halloween Fail / 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

by thecaptainmorgan / 10/12/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Oklahoma) / Work

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm / United States / Kids

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

by Anonymoose / 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids