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xxsakuraxx

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xxsakuraxx
  • Town/Country : Toledo, Ohio
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 577
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

#20861177
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40687) - you deserved it (2310)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:44am - work - by smashyonewfloors - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (12542)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39553) - you deserved it (2885)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49803) - you deserved it (6250)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42659) - you deserved it (6216)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39231) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50138) - you deserved it (2940)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (7012)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (7367)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I watched TV in the early morning. I was watching The Ring, and when the scene came on where the girl is crawling out of the TV, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

#20838885
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (7367)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by insomniac x2 (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (5277)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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