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xxsakuraxx

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xxsakuraxx

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2358
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

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xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>TheDude992</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:11am<b>dudefromasia</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:31pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:15am<b>wvcheesehead</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:20pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:33am<b>sswagyP</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:50am<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:34pm<b>earljonez</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:53pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:13pm<b>ShadowReaper101</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:37am<b>smw83</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Epiccake</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:03pm<b>sajupt</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Reecer</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:42am

Fucked!<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (2916)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML

#21069920
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36658) - you deserved it (3432)

On 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm - misc - by DIY560 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44113) - you deserved it (5603)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44128) - you deserved it (7829)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML

#21066977
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (6606)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by management - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37766) - you deserved it (4329)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53011) - you deserved it (5260)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, a guy called customer support, claiming his internet wasn't working. I asked for his customer details, and he gave his name as Mike Hunt. I recognized the old joke, called him an idiot, and hung up on him. It turned out that was his real name. I'm now on suspension. FML

#21060478
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26754) - you deserved it (32923)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (47863)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

#21054564
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (17047)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39645) - you deserved it (8067)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML

#21044260
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52215) - you deserved it (16629)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wrexham)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45927) - you deserved it (4944)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)



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