This member hasn't filled in their description.
xxsakuraxx's FML badges
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs
Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids
Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML
by sistertaxi / 05/14/2015 at 10:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by cricketsins / 05/14/2015 at 1:11am / United States / Animals
Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML
by Basically_ / 05/11/2015 at 5:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by to_complicated_4_u / 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
by morphea / 04/29/2015 at 6:54pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals
by Ixlovexwaffles / 04/29/2015 at 4:33pm / Intimacy
Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Animals
Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money
by bleue / 04/23/2015 at 8:27am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML
by craZycatLady / 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
by ihatekids / 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML
by Anonymous / 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love