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xxsakuraxx

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xxsakuraxx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2143
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (12307)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37017) - you deserved it (4742)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30964) - you deserved it (2624)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML

#21272741
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (2787)

On 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (34617)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32458) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36190) - you deserved it (9044)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (9522)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40582) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37952) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37268) - you deserved it (3495)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while walking to work, I saw a homeless guy with a funny "NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE" sign, so I gave him a few spare dollars for his humor. On my way back home, he was out cold on the sidewalk with several empty bottles beside him. Whoops. FML

#21238336
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (36560)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML



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